Friday, January 1, 2016

hangovers

As someone who was very alcohol dependent for quite a long time, I've had a great deal of experience dealing with hangovers.

Helpful tips and tonics:

  • Things you need: hydration, analgesics, caffeine, food.
  • Tonic 1 : drop two alka-seltzer cold tabs into a a cup of the hottest blackest coffee you can stand. Quaff quickly. You do not want to linger on the flavor of this. Especially effective if you smoke and drink.
  • Tonic 2 : got nothing going on? Tell your liver to go fuck itself and make a bloody-beer or (and this is actually delicious) pour equal parts orange juice to porter/stout in a big ass glass. Alternatively if the smell doesn't make ya puke, drink some more of that whiskey you just coyote uglied.
  • The Terrible Method! Before I get into this, I want to warn you, this works but is every bit as unpleasant as it seems. I learnt it from Robert Heinlein. Drink a glass of water, take some ibuprofen, and slam a cup of coffee or an energy drink (b vitamins help, too). Step into a nice hot shower. Let it lull you for a long moment. Switch that bitch to frigid! Stand there. Take it. Regret every shaking part of your being. Switch it back to the hottest setting. HATE everything. Live with your terrible decisions! Repeat the cycle at least twice more, but no more than 4 times total (not that anybody ever would). If all goes as planned, your body should be numbed and in shock long enough for your other hangover resolving reagents to enact a more permanent solution.

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