Friday, October 2, 2015

full refund

From the Desk of Thomas Eugenia Crow Esq.

Written the 15th of April, 1902.

Mr. Andreas Alan:

I am writing you, sir, in the hope of recuperating damages caused by your staggering negligence.

You will surely recall my purchase of your grimoire, Bringing of the Multifarious Quietude, some time ago.

When the stars arrayed themselves, throbbing in precisely the irregular lattice of Diagram A-13, I initiated the 12th ritual. Riches poured not forth from my soil, but, by the blackest night, ruinous shadows sallied forth. Blood my soil drank, sir, blood!

Attached you will find two further items: an itemized list of damages (which I expect to be rectified forthwith) as well as a letter penned without duress from a mutual acquaintance in the beyond.

Such testimony should serve towards the veracity of my claims, in addition to reiterating my total adherence to your outlined ritual.

In conclusion, we both are aware no legal bodies govern such affairs so I shall attempt to rely upon your good faith. Sans such a possibility, extralegal and extranatural retributions may be in order.

B. Adamson

Damages to Household - $250
Damages to Person - $35
Damages to Demesne- $45
Funeral of Tennant Farmer - $30
Easement of Widow’s Grief & Financial Burden - $100
Funeral of Tennant Farmer’s Son - $30
Purchase Price of Grimoire - $300

Please render the total sum of $790 ASAP.

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