Wednesday, September 23, 2015

the terrible burden of gnosis and god, overcome

I remember when I came back to myself, she was holding my hand.

“Do you understand?”

I did.

We’d had too much to drink, which is to say it was the night time. Everyone else lurched towards other parties or else lay snoring where they fell.

Sitting on a ratty old couch in a stinking, stained basement, we smoked cigarettes and had our argument. She was winning, and had been for some time.

“Do you understand?!”

It was strange we were holding hands. Though there was deep affection between us, rarely did we touch. It was stranger still to be so uplifted, so light, and so finally free. I cried, I think.

I remember the blinding shift most of all: the sudden crystalizing clarity of reason and reality intersecting. The foundational shift in thinking, so profound, it left me literally blinded. Unforgiving fire exploded throughout my mind. It was all so suddenly clear, I could not see.

“Yes.”

We embraced, I think.

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